Enough
by NijiBrush
Summary: She made the future seem simple, almost like it was all already mapped out. But maybe I had trouble believing that it was...that for me it could be... (Future Fic) (Skyffrey)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks, but then I don't think Skye would like the thought of being owned by anyone. lol**

 **Author Note: This is set in the future, but it** ** _isn't_** **in any way compliant with The Penderwicks in Spring, because honestly that just didn't sit well with me. So that's why there's fan-fiction I guess.**

 **Anyway enjoy!**

Chapter 1 (Skye's POV)

Mornings always did have something special I guess.

Feeling the stone in between my ﬁngers I noticed a spot on the horizon. It was just a glimmer in the darkness now, but I knew that in just an hour or so it would be glowing bright enough to ofﬁcially bring in the morning. It was the sun. And it was amazing that just a little time could make the difference between night and day.

Tossing the rock into the air slightly, I felt a frown bunch up my face. And it was gravity that pulled the stone back into my hand with a mufﬂed thud. Time and gravity... More than almost anything I wished I understood just what they both were. I know life would keep on going even if I never found out, (just like Jane told me) but I still just wanted to know... To me it was more than interesting, to me it was amazing.

Letting go of a slight sigh I focused on the last lingering stars above me. Sometimes I worried that I didn't have "the heart of an artist" or even that I didn't have a heart at all. I mean in the ﬁgurative sense of course.

But... Those stars...

To me they meant the same as Jane's words or Jeffery's music. But it wasn't as easy for me to talk about what was in my heart, even if the feelings built up to the point where it felt like my chest just might explode.

The truth was I had so many things I'd never said that it almost felt like a burden. Like a weight...like my own personal piece of gravity. Clutching the rock tighter I bit down on my lip. The pressure remained me to keep my emotions in check. I'd never said I wanted to understand emotions, and I'm not sure if I really wanted to or not. They were messy and painful most of the time. But then so was gravity if you didn't use it right.

I realized gravity wasn't all bad though, I mean just because you could possibly fall off a cliff. So logically emotion must have been the same way right? But honestly I did feel a little like I had fallen off a cliff... Or more like I was dangling off the edge of one. I wasn't broken yet, but there was a very real possibility that I might end up in a million little pieces.

Because emotions, gravity, and even your heart...they all have a way of breaking don't they...? And it's time that pushes you right off that edge isn't it? It was time that changes your whole life around. And brings up all the things you'd just rather avoid. Where all those things you want to put off are staring you straight in the face.

I gave the stone one last toss in the air before I threw it out to sea. It arched and then landed with a wet splash. I wanted to understand everything about the universe, but I guess the biggest mystery was the one thing I'd rather not have to explore. A few more glimmers of light appeared on the horizon, while I looked down at my hands.

They were the same, and yet not. Just like me. Because like it or not...I wasn't a kid anymore. Time had taken care of that. And now I was just waiting for gravity, and this pesky heart business, to ﬁnish the job.

And possibly, me off...

 **Thanks for reading, and feel free to review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 2 (Jeffrey's POV)

One, two, three.

I felt a little smirk wrinkle my nose as I gently tapped the same piano key. Music was as much about rhythm as it was about sound itself. And pace. That was closely related to timing too. In the end you really needed harmony to tie all the other things together. And if you could manage to organize all those elements, without them slipping through your fingers that is, then you just had to practice it again and again until it was perfect. Or as perfect as you could manage. Though I had to admit that sometimes what a song needed was a slip of a key or a falter in note.

After all, a melody should be as human as the hands that play it. It isn't that I disliked perfect, but I think there was perfect, and then there was too perfect. Perfect shouldn't ever become mechanical, because if it does, well then it isn't perfect at all. I believed in an emotional perfect, a sort of perfect that was excellent in every way, yet wasn't afraid to spill everything it felt inside. True perfect wasn't afraid to cry, no not in front of anyone.

So, if for that reason only, even as hard to believe as it was, she wasn't perfect.

I leaned into my hand as I let my eyes trace over the photo sitting on top of my piano. Blonde hair was hidden under her baseball cap, and those blue eyes looked as afraid of crying as ever. But she was Skye Penderwick, and I knew that in each and every other way...well she was as perfect as you'd ever find.

I softly tapped the same key again.

But how do you convince her of that? That was like a melody I didn't think I'd ever master. But all the same I kept practicing every day. So who knows, maybe one day she'll see things the way I do?

Straightening up in my seat I let my hands dance lightly over the black and white checkerboard in front of me. The truth was, as of yet I was far from perfect, but I couldn't help but smile. She had a way of doing that to me I guess. My hands were happiest with a keyboard beneath them, and my heart was happiest when the inspiration for a song was as simple as a sunny day. I was just like that. She'd call it goofy I guess, in fact she had.

But that was the other requirement of real perfection, freedom. And corny or not I didn't much care. Because as I felt the notes fall effortlessly from my fingers I knew exactly what my inspiration had been this time. And she'd probably be terrified wouldn't she? She'd think I was crazy. And I was, in fact I was more than crazy.

I was madly in love with my best friend.

But she wouldn't guess would she? No probably not.

Standing I smiled as I shook the sunlight from my hair. She'd never in a million years imagine, but then I didn't think she had to. I could imagine enough for the both of us. And dream, and very possibly obsess. But then that was ok too, because one day I'd put it all into a song and play it for her note by note. I'd make it so clear she'd have no choice but to understand all the wonderful things I already did. Like how beautiful she was, or how many times I'd replayed the day we met.

Lump on the head and all.

She'd finally get it, because after practicing for years...I'd make sure it was nothing short of perfect.

 **Feel free to review if you'd like!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 3 (Skye's POV)

4177, 4201, 4211…

I squinted harder as if I were actually trying to examine the ceiling. Maybe I hoped I might just convince myself that I didn't feel like disappearing. But then again I doubted that was possible…

Shuffling on the department store bench I crossed my arms and turned to staring at my shoes instead.

4217.

But all I noticed there was a black scuff that stood out like a sore thumb against the white rubber of my sneaker's toe. Just as I reached down to try and buff it off I heard a pair of designer heels click past me. Now I knew I wanted to disappear.

4229, 4231, 4241, 4243…

Rosalind would think I was being silly, and Jane would probably chalk it up to some kind of inferiority complex, (something she read in a book about being crazy) but to me it just felt like holding your head under water. All the so called examples of high fashion, and magazine level looks were doing me in…

Pulling my baseball cap brim a little lower I just hoped I could leave before I drowned in whatever I was feeling. I knew Jane was lost somewhere in the mass of clothes and household appliances. She was in charge of Rosalind's wedding shower gift registry, and seemed as suited to the job as she would have been to her own book signing. Not that I minded that, if she wasn't I'd have to do it after all.

It isn't that I didn't want to get Rosalind something special, but then how do you sum up over a decade of sisterly love with a toaster oven?

Giving into a sigh I felt my heart twist oddly inside of me again. I couldn't believe she was really getting married… It wasn't that I didn't want her to, but I… It was such a strange mix, to be happy and sad at the same time and about the same thing.

4253…

What did that make me then…? The OSP? The oldest single Penderwick? I smiled a little. I could live with that. Which was good, since I had a pretty good feeling Jane would beat me to the punch anyway. I felt a laugh buliding under my breath. Maybe even Batty?

But I didn't mind, I really didn't mind.

Most people my age would think I was crazy I guess, but the whole thing kinda scared me. Tommy and Rosalind had been friends for so long already that I guess it was easier, but how do you just meet a total stranger and end up marrying them? I mean when the only thing that changes is the passage of time? No wonder scientists don't understand what time is… It must be something really amazing…

"Is this seat taken my lady?"

More than a little startled I quickly craned my neck in the direction of the more than familiar voice.

Wearing a grin as mischievous as ever was Jeffrey; and lugging a full size cello case at that. I smiled a little. "If you can distract me from waiting on Jane then sure help yourself." He sat down while still working to steady the cello. "Too bad we're inside, a little music always takes my mind off things." I laughed. "Yeah something tells me the class of customer in this place wouldn't take to a fiddle version of chopsticks."

Jeffrey pretended to be offended. "I'll have you know I was practicing one of Bach's famous cello suites!" I shrugged. "Sorry I was only kidding, I know you're an ace on that thing." His face softened for a second before he grinned again. "I'm not sure I deserve such high praise, but I can't contradict you my lady."

I rolled my eyes playfully as I gave into another laugh. "When did all this 'my lady' stuff start anyway?" He shrugged. "Sorry I guess it's just an unwanted side effect of all the classical music. But I don't know Skye, I think the touch of royalty suits you." Eyeing the scuff on my shoe again I chuckled a little ironically. "Okay then fine, by order of the royal Penderwick throne I command you to hurry Jane up."

He smiled softly as he bowed. "Whatever you wish my lady." Then gently leaning his cello case toward me he added in "but you'll have to watch my noble steed."

"Sure whatever." I replied as I balanced the instrument turned beast. Jeffery was just about to disappear into the maze of clothing racks when I called behind him. "Hey Sir Arthur, if you can rescue me from this dungeon in the next ten minutes I promise I'll knight you." His freckled nose wrinkled with a bigger grin as he bowed even more dramatically.

"I promise I shall return to you even at the risk of many a dragon, my lady."

And with that last Jane worthy line, he did disappear into the mass of merchandise. Now I really did feel silly. I was role-playing medieval times with a monster sized cello leaning against my knees, yeah all while in a fancy department store. And besides that I still had that annoying scuff on my shoe. I should have been more embarrassed than ever before, but I couldn't seem to get the grin off my face.

The truth was, for some, probably crazy reason, the last thing I suddenly felt like doing was disappearing…

 **Thanks for reading thus far!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 4 (Skye's POV)

I felt the weight of the soccer ball thumping against my knee as I eyed Jane narrowly. In a match all that really mattered was scoring a point, and whether you had or not wasn't ever hard to figure. It was certain, reliable, sorta like math I guess.

But life was different. That's why I preferred math most days.

After lining up my target I gave the ball one last bonce that send it a little higher into the air then the other times. Then slamming my foot into it I gritted my teeth and watched it fly past Jane's head.

For a second I grinned at what should have been a good shot, but the feeling didn't last too long, since I knew that had been way too easy. Jane smirked as she walked over to the ball and playfully rolled it under one foot. "That would have been a good one Skye, but I can't lie, I let you have it."

I frowned, a little annoyed. "Well why'd you do that?"

So much for always knowing when you scored a point... Was even soccer getting more confusing as an adult…? Jane rested her hands behind her head as she beamed a grin that made me hope she wasn't about to mention love. "Because I'm in a great mood today Skye!"

I shifted from one foot to the other, not really sure I wanted to know where this was headed. But all the same I figured Jane wanted me to ask. But I didn't get the chance.

"And do you know why? Because it's spring! A season of revival! Of fresh new beginnings! Just think Skye, we're young and free to shape our own destiny at this very moment!"

I blinked a few times, not really sure if this was the part where I tried to reply… But before I could decide she walked over and slung an arm around my shoulder and squeezed.

"I think Rosalind is an inspiration! We shouldn't be afraid to embrace the future! To forge ahead down the path of our generation!"

And there it was, love, I had guessed right after all.

I gave a half smile as I nodded slightly. "Uh well I'm happy for her yeah…"

Jane patted my shoulder. "So am I! And it has me excited to think where the rest of us might be down the road! Or better yet, just around the next corner!" Jane let go off me and swayed dreamily, lost in an artistic tangent. I knew there wasn't really any way to shake her out of one of these once it was already happening.

So I didn't bother trying. Strange as it seemed a part of me smiled at seeing her like this. It wasn't my cup of tea to say the least, but she was my sister, and I wouldn't have charged her for anything. Losing Rosalind was teaching me that. That you should enjoy your family while you have them. Even if they are a little nuts.

I rolled the soccer ball from one foot to another as what I had just thought clicked together in my head. I guess the truth was I wasn't as happy about Rosalind getting married as I was unhappy about it. Did that make me selfish?

I let go of a little sigh as I tried to form my feelings into something I could express. Something that would let a little pressure off my head without the whole thing spilling out.

"Aren't you upset about losing her?"

Jane snapped her head to look at me. The expression she had told me she thought what I'd asked was pretty ridiculous. About now I was starting to wish I hadn't said anything.

"That's silly Skye, we're not losing her, we're gaining Tommy. He'll be a real Penderwick now."

I smirked a little playfully. "What, did she convince him to take her name instead?"

Jane rolled her eyes just as playfully. "You know what I mean."

With a kick I lunched the ball into our fence post and caught it as it came flying back at me. Holding it under my arm I looked back at Jane. "Yeah I know, but you don't have to go and marry somebody just to make them a Penderwick."

Jane thought silently before she tried to guess what I'd meant. "You mean how it is with Jeffrey?"

I admit I felt myself tense a little when she said that. It is who I was thinking about, but something told me I shouldn't have brought Jeffery into this conversation.

"Well yeah…" I said slowly.

She nodded. "Sure that's true, but it's not the point Skye. I mean we're not kids anymore, Rosalind and Tommy are in love, and that's more important than who is or isn't a Penderwick."

I felt myself chafe a little at that. But I'd learned to let the frustration go with a shrug "Yeah I know… Let's just forget about it."

Jane squinted her eyes as if she was trying to see right through me. And when that grin appeared on her face I guessed she'd read into me whatever it was she wanted to find.

"But that's not to say that Jeffery is any less a Penderwick than Tommy will be… Especially if…"

I felt my blood pressure rise. So turning on my heels I looked away from her as I dropped the ball and crossed my arms. "Don't Jane."

I heard her laugh. "Calm down Skye, I'm only kidding with you!" She then got a mischievous look on her face. "Besides who's to say you'll marry him, it could be me or even Batty, I mean if you give it a few years."

I snapped around to face her as I felt an unusual prickling feeling race up my spine. I couldn't figure out what to say, but I guess the look on my face was words enough for Jane.

"Hey easy girl! I was kidding about that too you know!" Then she laughed a little. "But you do seem pretty jealous!"

I felt my face going a little red as I bit my tongue. When we were younger I would have blew my top for sure, but since then I'd gotten a bit better at cooling my temper. So taking a deep breath I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"I don't think any of us should marry him. Why try to change something that works just fine how it is?"

Jane just stared in an amused disbelief before she replied. "Uh because if you're in love with him then you need to do something about it! Honestly Skye, some of the funny things you say…"

I guess a part of me wished I saw things as simply as Jane did. Or maybe saw things period for that matter. The truth was I didn't see the world as black and white as that. To me it looked more like a confused blur, and I could hardly believe I was almost talking about it.

"Of course I love Jeffery, we all do." I said weakly.

Jane smiled gently, almost like she felt sorry for me. Then wrapping an arm around my shoulder she spoke slowly.

"Not the same thing Blue Skies."

I knew that, I wasn't completely dense. But that was all I knew. What I didn't know was what side of it I fell on. And frankly I was too afraid to try and find out.

But either way it didn't matter much. Love like that wasn't something that one person could just decide. If I did care what would it matter since he didn't? So I'd figured out a long time ago to stop asking myself that question.

I felt her squeeze my shoulder a little tighter as her voice turned a little comforting. "Anyway, no one is losing anyone Skye. We were sisters first, which means we'll be sisters forever."

Nodding I mustered a slight smile. "Yeah...I know…" Because I did. Even if it took me until now to realize it…

Jane grinned a little playfully. "Penderwick family honor?"

I smiled back with a lopsided grin. "Yeah, Penderwick family honor."

 **Thanks for reading, please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 5 (Jeffrey's POV)

Tuesday. Possibly the most unappreciated day of the week. But for me they were a favorite. Or at least since Skye decided to answer the want ad at the local planetarium. Or more specifically since any new adventure requires moral support. And that's where I come in.

My Tuesday started with about three hours worth of music tutoring, (I'm the teacher this time around) and then transitioned into a few more hours of personal practice, before it would finally crescendo into a weekly lunch appointment I wouldn't miss for Bach's autograph.

Skye wouldn't actually admit to being nervous that first day, but all the same she didn't argue with having a friend stop by at lunch. And as the weeks went by I decided she might just need a little ongoing support. And that, my friend, is how Tuesday became my favorite day of the week.

Whistling I strolled into the mellow as always "Constellation Cafe." And there in our usual spot, studying her fries like an equation, was my favorite stargazer.

"Hello beautiful."

Looking up to met my eyes she frowned before tossing a glance over her shoulder. Pulling the chair out across from her I laughed. "I was talking about you silly."

Rolling her eyes she shyly pushed the carton of fries toward me. "Here eat something, I think you're delirious…"

I laughed as I snatched up a fry. "So do we have to give a test run this time around?"

Skye nodded. "Yep, as soon as you're ready."

I smiled as I gulped down the last few fries before hopping out of my seat. "Ready!"

It wasn't every week that she needed to test one of the planetarium displays, but I especially looked forward to when she did. The owner decided to let me in once I agreed to give his daughter piano lessons, but then I figured that was a small price to pay really. Jane would probably say I was a romantic, but I knew I'd happily walk over thumbtacks to get to spent time with Skye.

But fortunately I'd underwent no torture to enjoy this afternoon. Or at least if you didn't count the fact that she had ignored my direct approach at honesty for about the hundredth time. Well maybe I had been keeping count after all…? But if music had taught me anything it was that practice and patience always made perfect. And I guess I was just foolishly optimistic enough to believe that it would.

In music or love.

So I followed her down the winding hallways wearing a silly grin for all the world to see. Pushing through a set of swinging doors we both stepped into the dim light of one of the planetarium rooms. Inside a few workers were milling around, either pushing a broom or adjusting setting on the control panel hidden in the far side of wall. I'd seen dozens of these shows by now, but I always got that same excited feeling just before.

Maybe it was because when Skye was looking at the stars, (even fake stars) she seemed a little closer to earth. Almost like she was close enough for me to touch her and she actually notice. If Skye shared anything with the stars she loved, it was in their distance... I smiled bitter-sweetly as we both took our usual seats side by side.

And of course their brilliance.

"Let it roll Charlie." Skye said as she signaled the guy at the controls. He nodded as he flipped a few switches. The dim light shifted into pure blackness, but within it I heard her take a deep breath and then let it go. To her this was Tchaikovsky, or Chopin and she had to ready herself to take it all in. I understood that feeling...I felt the same why when I sat at my piano. Or each time I saw her face.

Then the show began and a symphony of lights filled the air above us. First just pinpricks in the darkness, then an entire orchestra that took shape into constellations. Most people couldn't have taken their eyes off the show, but I found my gaze landing beside me. Her face was illuminated just enough. Just enough to see how lost she was, how captivated these lights had her. I felt a smile round my face before I turned back to the stars above us.

No doubt about it, she was special… The kind of special you could spent a lifetime looking for. But I had found her without even trying. Maybe she had found me, or at least we had found each other. When we were kids that was enough, because I knew she'd always mean the promise we'd made back then.

Friends forever.

I wanted to be her friend before I wanted to be anything else, and I still did. But these days I guess I was wondering if that promise had meant we'd _only_ be friends forever.

I smiled wider as I fixed my eyes on the twinkling lights. It was funny how a grin could end up on your face even if you really felt like crying. Like balling like a baby. If I'd assured her that I was serious when I said she was beautiful, what would have happened? If I reached over and held her hand right now, what would happen?

If she slapped me in the face and stormed out I could handle it. What I didn't think I could stand was the serious look followed by all the sincere reasons she didn't care about me that way. All the reasons she never would. Where would our promise be then? Somehow I guessed if she had to reject me we wouldn't really be friends forever.

I felt her elbow gently tap me in the ribs. Leaning toward me slightly she pointed above us and whispered. "This formation was just added…" "It's beautiful…" I whispered back. She nodded before she turned her attention above us again.

And it was, they all were. And even though what we did was different, I knew she was really just an artist too. Each and every light was a cord or tone to her, and the constellations were like the harmony between different instruments. Did she feel that kind of harmony now…?

From something other than just the lights? Did she feel what I felt when we were together?

Love hurt worse than I ever would have imagined. But I still couldn't take the smile off my face, because I knew she was worth hurting over. And if I could have I would have asked her to dance with me under these fake stars. Even though I figured she'd laugh. But she must have felt me staring, because she turned stare back. I expected her to mouth 'what' but she just kept on looking at me right back. And for a second I almost let myself think she must have liked this face of mine.

And if I would have been honest with my own feelings, then I would have leaned forward and met her lips before she could assume that my complement had just been a joke. But I didn't do that. So I just crossed my eyes and smirked at her.

Grinning a little she playfully punched me in the shoulder. "You deserve that..." Snickering I reached over and pulled the brim of her cap down over her eyes.

"Hey!" She whispered pretending to be angry. But that only made me laugh harder. Tugging the hat back in place she looked over at me with a frown. But she could only hold it for a few seconds before my laughter turned out too contagious. So there we both sat, laughing over mostly nothing at all. And yet about what felt like everything. And it was then that I realized something.

I couldn't live forever suspended in uncertainty. I wasn't a coward. So I stopped laughing long enough to caught my breath. I tried my best to feel for the words I wanted. Words like, I love you Skye Penderwick. Even phrases like, I want to spend forever with you. But before I could pull any lines from one of Jane's love stories, the lights flipped back on.

The show was over, and she'd have to get back to work. Hopping up from her seat she turned back toward the control guy. "Hey Charlie I saw a few LEDs go out on the second round, I think I better check them out, I mean before the opening tomorrow night." The guy shot her a thumbs up. "Sure, have at it."

Skye nodded before hesitating to step away from the seats, from me. Her grin was a little awkward. "See you later." She said as she dug her hands into her jacket pockets.

I faked my best smile. "Right, later Skye."

She shifted where she stood before staring down at her shoes and then back at me. "I uh…" she stumbled out. "I'm not too sure I agree with it but...thanks."

My eyes went a little wider. "For what?"

She looked back down and then sideways. "That crazy compliment...I mean that's what you wanted it to be right?"

I could hardly believe my ears, and now I didn't have to fake the smile!

"Yes!" I shouted before I realized I could have been a little more composed about it. She frowned as her face grew even more awkward. "Ok fine, well like I said thanks."

I grinned from ear to ear as I gave a little bow. "It was a pleasure, my lady." Looking up I saw her roll her eyes as a slight smirk appeared on her face. "Get out of here Jeffrey…"

I laughed as I felt my heart skip inside of my chest. I almost thought I saw her face going red before she turned and rushed away toward those burnt out LEDs. Maybe I just imagined it, but just the chance was good enough for me.

Feeling my face soften I watched her until she disappeared through an 'employee only' door.

I thought just maybe Charlie or the broom guy might think I was crazy talking to myself, but I couldn't seem to stop the words from spilling out. But then I figured my secret was safe with them anyway… So I let myself whisper it.

"I'm in love with you...Skye Penderwick..."

And I was. Or maybe I always had been...

 **Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 6 (Skye's POV)

I watched the ripples form in my drink as I gently sloshed the cup aimlessly. It was a nervous habit I guess. But everything about a wedding shower made me nervous. Honestly pretty much any event that only women were invited to couldn't be a good idea. I mean if no guy would want to be here, then chances are neither did I. And normally I wouldn't have been, but when it comes to sisters, you can end up stepping out of your comfort zone. If family loyalty meant I had to sit for two hours and watch Rosalind open gift boxes filled with towels and kitchen utensils, well then I would.

So I was.

But I still couldn't help feeling a little guilty for not wanting to be here. I wanted to support Rosalind but being here made me feel the same way I had at the department store. Like a black scuff on a white shoe.

Taking a sip of the punch in my cup I tried to focus on just blending in. Which was dumb I know, since I was just sitting there like everyone else. But It didn't matter, I still felt like I was glowing neon. Gulping down the rest of my drink I used it as an excuse to go get more. As slowly as possible.

So I weaved my way through the crowd and over to the snack tables. Finally out of hearing range from everyone else I let myself sigh as I gave into the frown that I'd only been showing on the inside. Watching them from here Rosalind looked like the picture of maturity and domestic skill. Jane didn't have a choice but to eat up anything that had to do with love. And even Batty looked like she was enjoying herself.

I guess this all felt like being the OAP all over again. Or like the title was about to become permanent. Jane and Batty weren't little kids anymore...but that sorta made it worse. It was all I could do to try and protect them from things kids were afraid of, but now everything was different. It seemed like I was the only one still afraid of anything…

But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it meant they would be okay on their own if I couldn't fill Rosalind's shoes…? I rubbed at my forehead. I knew I couldn't fill her shoes… I tried, but we were just too different. Last year when Jane turned up with another broken heart I remember her crying on Rosalind's shoulder while she said all the right things. I was more interested in setting her old boyfriend straight. Which I guess made me more of an older brother than sister anyway…

What was going to happen when Batty deals with that for the first time? I sighed again. But I guess she'll have Jane then. Yeah so I guess that would be okay… I was in the middle of a few more muddled thoughts when I felt someone touch my shoulder. Jerking a little I turned to see Rosalind smiling at me.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you Skye. But…" Leaning in a little closer she whispered in my ear. "You just look a little lost. Are you alright?" "Yes!" I said as a reflex. It was too quick to be convincing I knew. But then I had a feeling Rosy knew me too well anyway. "I mean...yeah I'm okay."

She bit her lip slightly as she studied my face. "I know you're technically okay, but that's not what I meant. Did something happen at work?" I felt myself cringe as I thought about what Jeffery had said the other day, or worse yet what I'd said. That was something else for me to not to be alright about, but it wasn't what I had in mind at the moment so I just shook my head.

"That's not what I'm worried about."

She raised an eyebrow. "So you are worried about something then?"

I frowned. Boy I'd walked right into that one. Now I was wondering if I'd be better off talking about work. So I opened my mouth and hoped something less than ridiculous came out. "Well...uh yeah...but...I mean I'm okay though, so don't worry about it…"

Rosalind smiled a little. "I know you're okay Skye, but I don't just mean today, I've been worried about you for a while now. I mean you've been acting strange ever since you heard I was getting married."

I stared down into my cup again. Why did I have a feeling she was looking straight through me?

"I uh…" But no matter how hard I thought nothing was coming to mind that would end this conversation. So I closed my mouth and hoped that that way I'd at least not adding anything to this mess.

But thinking about it I guess silence was the same as saying yes according to Rosalind.

Wrapping her arm around me Rosy pulled me a little closer to her as she spoke softly. "That's okay Skye…" I wanted to shoot back that it wasn't okay or alright, but I just bit my lip before I could.

Pulling back enough to look me in the eyes she took on a warm expression. "I know you don't really believe in yourself Skye. So you compare us and always put yourself on the losing side. And when you do that to you not only tear down your self esteem, but you can make yourself jealous."

Jealous…? I felt my heart beat a like more uneasy in my chest. She thinks I'm jealous of her getting married…? I opened my mouth to deny it, to clear up any other crazy ridiculous ideas she had, but… But that's all I did...I just opened my mouth and nothing came out.

She pulled me tighter again. "But you don't want to be, because you really are a great sister… That's why you keep fighting with yourself."

I felt myself hugging her back as a few words finally fell out. But they were the complete wrong words.

"I'm sorry…"

I knew that was the same as agreeing, as saying she was right, but I didn't know why I'd said it. I wasn't really jealous, not of a wedding of all things. But I was apologizing for it like I was...

She smiled a little. "Don't be Skye, because you're just human like everyone else. I understand how you feel." I couldn't see how, because at this point I didn't even understand how I felt. Especially if I was supposed to be jealous. How could I be jealous…? Was I jealous?

She then grabbed each of my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes. "You're going to have a wonderful future I promise you Skye. No matter how you might feel sometimes, it simply isn't true." She smiled even more sincerely. "One day when you find someone you'll look back and realize that I was right, and you'll know how many people really did love you along."

I wasn't ready for this. All I wanted to do before was disappear, but now I didn't think anything short of vanishing into a black hole would do.

She rubbed my arm trying to comfort me as if I was a little kid with a bruised knee. And maybe I was… I bit down on my lip as I felt several shades of embarrassment wash over me. She made the future seem simple, almost like it was all already mapped out. But maybe I had trouble believing that it was...that it could be for me.

I even had trouble admitting that maybe I did want that sort of future. I… I was afraid of any kind of future. But especially if having it meant I'd have to find someone that loved me... That was just setting yourself up for a fall… It was just asking for a bunch of disappointment… It was giving someone else the chance to tell me I wasn't good enough…

I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat and I did my best to bury the tears I felt welling at my eyes.

I couldn't stand that… I couldn't lose everyone I loved... He...

I couldn't take the chance at hearing I wasn't good enough…

No...not if it was going to be my best friend looking me in the face and saying it…

 **Thanks for reading and please review. More chapters are coming as soon as I can get them written, so just hang in there with me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 7 (Jeffrey's POV)

I watched her face scrunch with concentration as her hands glided over the piano. I felt my eyes close as I drunk in the melody from beside her on the bench. Sure it was beautiful, but though I couldn't put my finger on a word for it, Batty's music was even more than that. It was something in the way she melted into the sound and forgot everything else. And sure enough she had a way of making anybody in the room forget right along with her.

So much so that I almost jumped when she suddenly stopped playing and spoke. "What do you think Jeffrey?"

I opened my eyes and smiled. "I think you may just possibly be brilliant." I watched her beam before a doubt got caught up in her face and her eyebrows dropped. "You're not just saying that?"

I let my face go serious . "No I'm not, Penderwick family honor." She just stared at me for a moment before a small grin came to her. "Alright, good, I was hoping my practice was paying off."

I nodded. "It certainly is, but you have something that practice won't ever give you. That's passion." I reached over to the keys and played a quick string of notes to demonstrate what I meant. "It's excitement!" I shouted over the music. "It's about that feeling that only playing with your heart can give you!"

Batty laughed as I brought the song to a sudden stop. "I think I see what you mean. It's about still having fun with it right?"

I nodded again. "You better believe it! So don't get too caught up in wondering if you're good enough, just play until your fingers cramp up or someone drags you away from the piano by force." She laughed again as a few curls fell into her eyes.

I felt my smile soften slightly. Before that summer I'd never have imagined I wouldn't have to spend my whole life as an only child after all. Back then I didn't even know what I was missing by not having any brothers or sisters. Now I just didn't ever want to lose what I had…

"But," I began. "I would actually like to get your opinion on something."

Her face filled with curiosity. "You mean like a song you're working on?" I nodded. "Yep that's exactly right. I've got most of it down but I'd just like a second opinion." I gave her a playful wink. "From another musical authority that is."

She smiled wider. "Okay sure!"

I took in a deep breath as I tried to prepare the notes in my mind. Not that I didn't already know them by heart, but it was the sudden butterflies in my stomach that made me wonder if I might jumble them. I wanted to live by my own advice about playing freely, but I also wanted this song to be just right... It was going to have to be perfect after all...

So swallowing my doubts I let myself fall into the chords one at a time. There wasn't a better example of a song played from the heart that I could have possibly shown Batty. Before I knew it my eyes were closed, and just like that I was picturing how I imagined each note would cause her face to change. How each note would reveal a meaning that would be clear to anyone hearing it.

How the song would tell a story that began so many summers ago.

I almost let myself forget that the presence I felt sitting next to me was in fact the youngest Penderwick. I wanted to pretend that the person that would soon be casting judgment on my song was the one who it had been written for. I wanted the nervous waiting and uncertainty to finally be over. I was ready to turn toward those stubborn blue eyes and hear something. Anything...even if she just laughed at me, or pitied another hopeless romantic besides Jane.

I was so lost in that nervous fantasy that I feared she, Skye, might just stop me before I finished. Maybe even slamming the keyboard cover on my hands part way through my confession in song. But all the same I soldiered on until each and every note was played. Until every feeling was expressed...

And when the melody was complete I was almost breathless. Breathless with as much excitement as worry. Worry about what she was going to think. But when I opened my eyes I of course remembered who was really sitting next to me. So though I felt suddenly weary I turned to smile at Batty as I waited for the look on her face to become words.

And sure enough they did, the very words I wanted to hear in fact. She studied me for a few moments before she broke into a grin. "I think she'll like it Jeffrey." Leaning into my hand I smirked. "And you're sure you aren't just saying that?"

Holding out her balled fist she nodded. "Penderwick family honor." Putting my fist on top of hers I nodded right back. "Penderwick family honor."

Even if it wasn't the Penderwick opinion I needed most, I was still more than happy to have it. Just like I was happy to have a little sister.

I felt my grin softening as I gazed at Batty. She had been as perceptive as I hoped. She knew me well enough to understand what my song was truly saying. Now I just prayed she understood her sister equally well.

Leaning back into my hand I laughed gently. "You're all grown up aren't you Batty?" She smiled proudly as she turned back toward the piano keys. "More or less, but I'm not in a hurry."

I chuckled a little more as I ran my fingers threw a messy lock of my hair. "I guess Skye feels the same way doesn't she?"

Batty seemed thoughtful for a moment before she turned back to face me. "I'm not afraid of growing up, I just want to enjoy myself while I do. Skye is different though, she is afraid." A determined smile then came to her face. "But I think you should always do what you're afraid of. Skye is the one who taught me that."

She reached out to gently press a few piano keys as she went on. "And unlike some things that you have to face all on your own, this is something she needs help with." Her gaze then landed on me again and our eyes locked.

"I think she needs the help of a friend. I think she needs your help Jeffrey."

I felt genuinely humbled by Batty's words, and more than a little embarrassed at the giddiness I could feel swirling inside of me. It was the kind of excitement and motivation that I needed to bottle if I was going to manage this performance for real next time. So I did bottle it up. I held onto it with all my might. Then I gave Batty a tight smile in return for her inspirational speech.

I even bowed playfully in acknowledgement of her wisdom. "You madame Penderwick are surely wise beyond your years." She started snickering, but just then we heard the screen door slam shut, and familiar footsteps coming toward us.

Whispering I turned toward Batty. "Quick look busy!" She nodded frantically before she reached and started playing something at random. I spun around on the bench just in time to see Skye slinging her bag on a nearby sofa. She just stared at us suspiciously.

Then rubbing at the back of her neck she frowned. "Did...did you guys break something or what? I mean you both look like the cat who ate the canary or whatever."

I grinned a little wider as I tossed Batty a playful wink. "Break something…? Who us…?" Rolling her eyes Skye decided to follow the example of her bag and collapse into the couch.

"I'm not even going to ask…"

 **Thanks for reading, and for the kind reviews! More to come soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

 **This update came a little quicker then I expected, but the chapter just flowed this time. So enjoy!**

Chapter 8 (Skye's POV)

Tuesdays. The most average day of the week. It meant the work week had just started, and it was hated by most hourly laborers. But then I didn't really hate my job, or Tuesdays.

Leaning into my hand I stared toward the menu board of the planetarium's cafe. Jeffrey was rocking on his heels as he studied his options. Which I thought was odd, seeing as we'd been here about a billion times before. But then almost everything about Jeffrey was strange these days…

I squinted a little as I eyed him suspiciously. Sometimes he was too quiet, but then other times it was like he couldn't stop talking for anything. It was like he was distracted all the time. Or nervous or…

I watched him place the order with a few overly dramatic gestures. Yeah definitely weird. But looking away I shrugged to myself. It wasn't like I could blame him I guess though… I mean I'd been a little out of it lately too. It was like the closer we got to Rosy's wedding, the stranger I felt. Was I really jealous…? And what did that that mean if I was…? Should I feel guilty or just plain embarrassed? Maybe even a little of each…?

She tried to assure me of how human it was, but it just felt awkward to me. Like a part of me was splitting in two directions at once… And the last thing I needed was Jeffrey going to pieces at the same time.

Then it hit me. Yeah at the same time that he sat the tray on our table. Maybe he was jealous too…? I felt myself frown as I tried to figure out what it meant if he was. But all I really figured out was that it would complicate things. So I just tried to focus on the fries in front of me. But there it was again that weird awkward silence settling over our table.

Jeffrey and me had never been like this. And whatever was to blame I didn't care, I just wanted it to end. So swallowing more than just the fry I made myself say something. But what I had planned on saying was a lot different from what actually came out.

"Have you ever been jealous…?" I was really starting to wonder what part of my unconscious mind thought this would break the awkward…

He just stared at me for a few long seconds before he tried to open his mouth. "Uh… Well yeah...I mean hasn't everybody?"

I shrugged hoping it would end the subject I'd so stupidly started. "Yeah I guess so…"

But it didn't, instead he leaned into his hand and stared over at me with a little grin on his face. Almost like I was suddenly funny or something. "So who am I supposed to be jealous of anyway?"

I shrugged again, feeling more and more flustered. "I don't know, who _are_ you jealous of?"

He laughed. "Nobody I guess."

I let go of a sigh, and I wasn't sure if I was relieved that he wasn't jealous, or just more guilty that I apparently was. "Well...good then…" I finally stammered out. He grinned a little wider as he reached to steal one of my fries. "Are you jealous of somebody?"

I went silent and probably a little white as I wondered how I'd managed to get myself tangled up in this. And I figured this was another case where silence was worse than saying something. So I bit my lip and tried to mumble out a good enough answer to put an end to this. If that was even possible.

"I don't think I am..."

He laughed again. "If you really weren't jealous, then I don't think you'd have to wonder if you were."

I frowned as I sent him a glare. He just smiled wider. "Sorry, I guess that isn't what you wanted to hear. But no really, who are you jealous of?" I sent him another glare, in hopes that the ice I felt forming in my eyes might stop him from pushing any further.

His smile softened a little. "Sorry, you don't have to tell me…I mean if you don't want to that is." And I knew I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. Right…?

I bit down on my lip harder as the splitting feeling got a lot worse. Was I going crazy? Heaving a frustrated sigh I looked back over at him. "Rosy! Rosy thinks I'm jealous of her…"

"Of her what?" He asked clueless. Why was he determined to make this even harder? Swallowing a lump in my throat I tried to just spit it out. And as bitter as it tasted in my mouth it shouldn't have been so hard to do. "Her wedding I guess…"

If nothing else stopped him from saying anything that did. He just sat there looking dumbfounded for what felt like forever, before he finally snapped himself out of whatever he was in. But even then he seemed more awkward than ever before. And when I couldn't stand the silence anymore I finally said something.

"But that's just what she thinks… I mean I don't know if I agree with her."

He looked away as he pulled nervously on a stray spring of this hair. What had I done to trigger weirdness like this? I was about to break the silence and ask if he was being probed by aliens at the very moment, but before I could say anything he turned back to look at me.

And I felt myself finally split completely in half when he did. His face had totally changed. He looked so suddenly serious, and his eyes were so intense it was almost scary. Like he was about to give his deathbed confession. I honestly couldn't say why, but I was afraid of what he might be about to say. But then...then he said something that seemed completely random...

"Skye...can I stop by after you get back from work today? I need to…" He swallowed hard before forcing a determined yet cheerful smile on his face. "I need to get your opinion of a song I've been working on!"

I realized my mouth was hanging open a little, completely confused, but I nodded anyway. "Uh...yeah sure okay…"

He swallowed hard again before he stood, and plastered on another phony looking grin. "Alright great, then I'll see you tonight!" And with that he turned on his heels and rocketed toward the door. Only stopping once to toss an awkward wave behind him.

I just sat there blinking for probably a full two minutes, before I threw my hands up and groaned loud enough to draw stares.

We were, both of us, headed straight for the funny farm, and I had a pretty good feeling that being forced into adulthood had a lot to do with it…

 **Thanks for reading, and feel free to review. More updates coming soon I promise!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 9

(Jeffrey's POV)

Standing on the Penderwick's front step I thought about all the things that I should have been. I should have been here ten minutes earlier. I should have been dressed in my best, instead of the wrinkled t-shirt and denim. And most of all, I should have been afraid.

But at least on that one, I absolutely was.

But pulling a confidant smile on my face I knocked on the door like I had done probably a million times before. It was no more than a few moments before Mr. Penderwick answered. Smiling, he nodded me inside with the usual "How are you Jeffrey?"

"Just fine sir." I said hoping sincerely that I wasn't lying to him. Turning his back to me and stepping toward the hallway he threw a chuckle behind him. "Sir? Are we formal now, or am I just getting old?"

I felt my grin soften even as my heart rate sped up. Even for all the familiar scents and sights that surrounded me, I suddenly felt a little strange standing alone in their living room. This place had always been my second and fondest home, but I couldn't deny that some part of me wondered if it ever would really be that…

But swallowing away any of those thoughts I turned toward Batty's piano that sat snug in a corner. "Hello again." I whispered as I gently touched it's gleaming black surface. Then pulling the cord on the floor lamp next to it, I sat down and studied the keys in the light.

Striking a few notes I tried to focus my mind on and away from why I was really here. I'd rather just tell myself I was here to play a simple song. A song like any other. And like an old friend, this piano and I had serenaded every Penderwick in the house at one time or the other. Whether it was a tune to cure Jane's writer's block or accompaniment for Batty's latest instrument.

But I couldn't really lie to myself. This was different. Closing my eyes and letting go of a small sigh I placed my confidence in that same old freind. "Please help me out this one last time…" Silly as it sounded I almost expected to hear a voice answer back and assure me. And I did hear a voice, but it wasn't the one I had been looking for. Instead of the imagined baritone of the piano, it was the slightly gruff, but still angelic tone I'd heard in my dreams for over a decade now.

"Do you always have conversations with that thing?" Skye asked as she walked into the room wearing a slight grin.

Looking over my shoulder I grinned back at her, even though I could feel my heart fall at that very moment. "Sometimes, but he doesn't usually answer. He's sort of smug I guess." Skye just rolled her eyes as she walked over and sat next to me on the piano bench.

"So…" she said slowly. "What have you been working on anyway?"

For all the butterflies and uncertainty, I suddenly realized that the biggest should, well it really was even simpler than all the rest.

I should have done this sooner.

I grinned. "It's a little something I call: "Ode to the Summer Sky."

She almost choked on a laugh. "Wow, have you been taking pointers from Jane again?" I smiled a little softer than before. "Not exactly…" Turning to face her I let our eyes meet. "This is something I wrote just for you actually…"

"Oh…" was all she mumbled. And there was no denying it, this was one of the few times I remembered Skye looking so genuinely afraid...

(Skye's POV)

Why was he looking at me like that anyway?

I felt a frown cross my face as I watched him position his fingers on the piano keys in front of us. I didn't know what he meant by writing me a song, but something about it made all the awkwardness of earlier today seem like nothing in comparison.

But I had to keep my head clear, it wasn't like he'd never played me music before, this probably wasn't any different. That made me feel a little better anyway. But now I knew the only thing I could do was listen, so I tried to relax in my seat when I heard the first few chords come to life.

I figured on a piano would have been at least one place that Jeffrey would have seemed the most like himself. I mean in spite of whatever was going on with him. But now he just seemed...well nervous I guess.

So nervous that he even stumbled over a key or two, which I don't think I'd seen him do in years. I'd never bought into it when Jane talked about feeling someone's emotions through the air, but I wasn't crazy…

Something was very wrong with this scene. And no matter how I tried to tell myself I was being stupid, I couldn't help but be nervous too.

I honestly wished I suddenly had Jane's power of 'artistic discernment' as she called it. Because I felt like I was aware enough to know I was missing something, but probably too dense to get what that something was. But it wasn't just Jeffrey, it was the song too. It was beautiful sure, but something was different about it. I wasn't sure if it was the tone, or pace or...or something I...

Finally I just shut my eyes and tried to listen, to listen to whatever Jane would have picked up on right away. To whatever he was trying to say I guess... And just like that, when I focused hard enough, I felt like I'd gone back in time. I could almost see Arundel's gardens. Was that the feeling he wanted me to get?

Did he want me to think about that? But why that? I chewed my lip a little as I tried harder to get what this song was supposed to mean. Did it...did it have something to do with when we meet? Was he trying to remind me?

But even if he didn't mean to, he had. I could see those gardens and almost feel that knot on my head from when I ran into he ran into me, or uh we ran into each other. The memory made me smile a little. That must have been what he meant my summer in the title. We'd meet in summer. It was subtle but...I felt something, something different, but not really new. That didn't make any sense. But…

Opening my eyes I turned my head to look at Jeffrey from the side. His eyes were closed too, and his face was so intent on the music that he almost looked… Almost looked like… Before I knew what I was doing, or why, I felt myself touch his shoulder. I was trying to break him from this song right in the middle. "Hey…" I whispered trying to get his attention.

But he ignored me. He just kept playing almost like I wasn't even there. Or like he was too desperate to let go of whatever he was feeling… What was he feeling…?

What was I feeling…?

I didn't have any idea, but it was different from that splitting feeling from before. It was warmer… And familiar… Now I found myself sitting by a fire. I remembered it all clearer then the afternoon before. Yeah even though it had been years. From the scent of the flames mixing with marshmallows, to the cold breeze from the ocean and the almost billion stars above us.

But it was something more than just remembering it… It was like I was there all over again, but… But I felt different now than I had then. I wasn't sure exactly how, but I did. Was the warmth just from the memory of roasting marshmallows, from the fire I'd felt that night?

And that's when it hit me. He was going through all our memories wasn't he? But why…?

Opening my eyes again I looked at him. He still wasn't finished. He just kept playing, playing through our memories, our life.

Our.

It was a little word I never thought much about until it hit my brain right then and there. And now I felt like someone had just turned on a light and shined it straight in my eyes. Yeah after I'd spent a lifetime in the dark.

It was just that brilliant, and just that painful.

"What are you saying…?" I finally said, even though I already knew the answer.

I cringed a little when the song stopped suddenly and he turned to look at me. His smile was weak, almost like he'd poured everything he had into the music. But even so he was still… He was still smiling…And maybe more than he had been in weeks, he was Jeffrey.

"I'm trying to say, I'm in love with you Skye Penderwick."

And there it was, the answer I knew was coming. The collection of letters and sounds that formed to make something. Something that meant, one way or the other, that our lives weren't ever going to be the same. How could they ever be…?

Now was the part where I had to say something. Where I was supposed to either say I felt the same way, or break him into a million pieces right? But what if I didn't feel like doing either one?

What if I felt like… Like… Whatever logical line of thought I was trying to hold together fell apart the longer I looked at him. He was just waiting, completely surrendered to whatever I was going to say. He looked like he was ready to take whatever death blow I was supposedly about to give him.

Was I about to…?

Wouldn't it just be easier to say I'd rather we just stay friends? Didn't I rather that? Ten minutes earlier I would have looked myself in the mirror and said just that. But now I couldn't make myself look him in the eyes and say it. I'd rather die than hurt him. I knew that now.

But what I couldn't figure out was if that was the only thing holding me back. If it was just that I didn't want to hurt a friend. I was feeling about a millions things at once, and done of them were making any sense to me. So figured they'd make even less sense if I tried to explain them to him.

So before I knew what I was doing, I felt myself stand and bolt out of the room. I was running away. I was hurting him anyway... And though I couldn't seem to stop my feet as they sprinted up the stairs, and into my room, and out onto the roof, I knew…

I knew for the first time...that I was hurting myself too…

 **Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think. More coming soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 10 (Skye's POV)

I just laid there. Glaring up at the stars that normally would have fascinated me. Tonight they just seemed like lights I'd rather not have shining in my eyes. I'd rather been able to just lay there surrounded by nothing but darkness. My heart was still beating a mile a minute in my chest, and I wondered if I just might have a heart attack any second.

I even wondered if I'd rather it end that way.

At least then I wouldn't have to think or...feel anything.

But I was still alive in spite of everything... And I was thinking and feeling all the things I never wanted to. All the things I'd planned on avoiding for a lifetime. Burying for a lifetime. And now I just wished I could rip the feelings right out of me.

Because no matter how bad I felt, I knew Jeffrey felt ten times worse. And it was all because of me…

Why was he in love with someone like me anyway…?

Sitting up, I buried my face in my palms as I clutched at the throb I felt creeping into my forehead. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cry. And yet...that's exactly what I did. The tears just kept coming in streams, and I wondered if I'd even be able to breathe when all was said and done.

But a part me didn't really care one way or the other… All I could see in my mind was him sitting alone at that piano. He'd poured his heart out at my feet...and I ran away… I was a coward, I knew that now.

A selfish coward.

Wiping my eyes on my sleeve I gritted my teeth, doing my best to stop the endless flow of water. But it didn't matter...they just kept coming until the world melted into a wet blur around me. And in the middle of that blur a sudden figure appeared at the edge of the roof.

It was strange to see how little you really did know yourself… Because every part of me suddenly hoped the the blurry figure was going to turn out to be Jeffrey. I wanted to hear him laugh, to say how silly and ridiculous I was being. I wanted him to climb up and sit next to me. I even wanted him to make fun of me for crying. But more than anything I just wanted to know that he was alright… I wanted him to know that I was being stupid, and that I really was sorry for that.

But it wasn't him at all…

"Skye...are you alright? What happened?" It was Jane.

But I didn't know what to say, so I just turned my back on her, and for the second time today, I shut someone who loved me out of my heart. "J-Just leave me alone!" I managed to snap out.

"Not going to happen!" She said firmly as I hear her move toward me. Then before I could raise anymore defenses, she grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face her. "Skye what happened!?"

I just stared at her as I clung to some kind of stubborn silence. Jane's eyes narrowed sharply as she shook me a little bit. "Skye Magee Penderwick! For once why don't you let someone help you!?"

"Because I don't deserve help!" I finally shouted at her, and at least partly at myself.

"What are you even talking about Skye!? You've acting crazy, get a grip on yourself!" Jane was my little sister, and she had never made it feel the other way around until right then. And she was right, I was going crazy wasn't I?

I felt my shoulders slump in her hands as I looked down at the roof. One by one I started to count the shingles. And then I divided each number, subtracted them, and added it all up again. I kept at it until I finally felt some microscopic bit of calm fill my head. It wasn't much...but I clung to it like my life depended on it. And maybe it did...

Taking a few deep breathes I looked back up at Jane. The words were almost there, but swallowing hard I made them go the rest of the way. "J-Jeffrey…" I mumbled out, even though I didn't feel worthy to even say his name. Not after what I'd just done to him.

"What about Jeffrey...?" Jane said gently, her voice suddenly seemed almost maternal. "He...he said he's in love with me Jane…"

Her eyes got a little wider at first, but then her whole face softened. "Yeah so? Why are you sitting on the roof crying your eyes out about that?" Her tone made me think that at least one of us had to be out of it. Because to hear her tell it, I was being completely ridiculous. It all seemed so simple when Jane said it.

So simple that I almost wanted to believe that it was...

Was it…?

Then a sudden frown crossed her face as if she just realized how complicated this really had to be. "What did you tell him? Did you turn him down? Is that why you're so upset?" And now she looked a little upset too. She was probably picturing a million horrible possibilities in her head. And all of them involved hurting Jeffrey.

"I-I didn't tell him anything...I just ran away before I had too…"

Her forehead creased, and I almost thought she was a little angry with me. "Why'd you do that?" Squeezing my shoulders a little tighter she let go of a sigh. "I know you don't want to hurt him...but if you really don't feel the same way then you have to be honest about it Skye! Jeffrey deserves that much!"

She was right I knew. He did deserve that much... But Jane still didn't get it… I felt my face twist into a frown and my heart into knots. "You don't get it… That's not why I didn't tell him…"

Jane raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean Skye, you're not making sense?"

I bit my lip before I felt another sob almost overwhelm me. Trying to control it left me trembling as I looked into her eyes. "I mean I ran away because...because I do feel the same way!"

Jane let her shoulders slump, she seemed almost relieved. And I had to admit that I was too. "Then why on earth are you up here crying all by yourself? Don't you know how love stories work?"

Letting go of a weary sigh I stared back down at the shingles. "Are you really asking me that…?"

"Yeah good point…" She said with a small chuckle. "But the good news is I do know! If you really want to feel better, then you have to go tell him how you feel."

I felt myself cringe even at the thought of it. "But I could barely even tell you…" She smiled as she patted my arm consolingly. "I know, but I'm not the important one here. You have to tell Jeffrey, then everything will be okay."

"This isn't like one of your stories…" I mumbled in a defeated tone. Too weak to put up much protest at Jane's suggestion.

"Life imitates art, I read that in a book. And this is definitely one of the times when you need to listen to me. I may not be as smart as you about some things, but right now you need to handle this like…" She thought for a second or two as she tried to find the right word. "Like you were a writer."

"But I'm not a writer Jane…" I mumbled again.

"Yeah but that doesn't matter, writers just tap into what other people are feeling and then write it down. All you have to do is tap into what you're feeling and just say it. You can do that Skye, I know you can!"

I just shook my head. "I doubt it…"

"Yeah but you have to. It's not just about you, you have to think about how Jeffrey feels. He probably thinks you don't care about him at all right now."

She had to put it that way didn't she…?

"But what do I say…?" I moaned.

She smiled as she pulled me into a sudden hug. "I don't know, I'm not your writer… You are Skye."

Biting my lip again I finally gave up on trying to hold back the tears. I just let everything I was feeling wash over me like waves from the ocean. The ocean we'd all seen together…

After a while of hugging and crying I pulled away and frown at Jane again. "But what about my face, how can I talk to him looking like this?"

She grinned as she tossed me a wink. "It'll just add dramatic effect, trust me on that one."

Honestly I wasn't sure I agreed with that at all, but it didn't matter...I knew she was at least right about everything else. So trying to brush away the wrinkles and bits of dirt, from wallowing on the roof in self pity, I climbed back inside my room. Then I forced myself to head toward the stairway. And each step felt like climbing down a mountain, or walking over hot coals. But it didn't matter how hard it was…

It just mattered that I did it. And I would...for him I would have done anything I could, and even something I thought I couldn't.

When I reached the bottom step I knew this was one of the things I couldn't. But I was doing it anyway. Stepping back into the living room I just stared at his back as he sat, slightly slumped at the piano.

"Jeffrey…" I said as I felt a little bit of courage fill up my chest. He didn't move at first, but then he slowly turned around to face me.

"Hello Skye..." He whispered gently, as he tried to smile. He was trying to smile for me.

I took a few steps toward him before I stopped and crossed, then uncrossed my arms. I tried to imagine everything Jane had said about tapping into your own heart. But all that I was tapping was nerves. Well...and that same feeling I had from before… It was the feeling I'd had a lot of times before. Even way back then at the beach when we were just kids. It was pretty much the same…

And I wasn't sure how to turn that feeling into words...but I knew for him I had to at least try.

"I uh...I thought about what you said…" He just sat there patiently with that weak grin on his face. He was being so brave about everything. It made me want to do my best too. So I just said it…

"I'm pretty sure I feel the same way about you... " Then I shook my head, mentally kicking myself for how I'd worded that. "No...I mean I know I feel the same way…" I let out a frustrated sigh. "I-I'm sorry...I'm not good at this…"

He just stood and took a few steps toward me. Then smiling softly, he laughed a small little Jeffrey laugh. The kind I'd heard about a million times before…

Then leaning to gently kiss my cheek, I heard him whisper...

"I never really expected you would be…"

 **Thanks for reading to this point, please feel free to review if you'd like. More coming soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Penderwicks**

Chapter 11 (Jeffrey's POV)

Jane was right about me when said I'd turned out to be a romantic too. I felt myself smile as I leaned deeper into the piano keys in front of me. This particular song fit that description quite well actually. But considering I was privileged enough to present Mr. and Mrs. Geiger with a melody to accompany their first dance together, well I don't think it should have been anything less.

Maybe it was a risk to steal a glance at them from over my shoulder while I was still playing, but I couldn't resist. It was surly the hopeless romantic in me. And they did really look dazzling. Like a picture out of a storybook. A storybook I'm sure I didn't read, being a boy, but one I was suddenly appreciating it all the same.

So one by one I let my fingers dance along with the happy couple. And it was a wonderful feeling really, doing something to add to another's happiness. But it was especially nice because these people weren't strangers to me. In fact I was happy to say they were...family.

They always had been…

After a minute or two more I gently faded out the music, before I turned on the bench to join the applause that was suddenly traveling around the room. All eyes were on Tommy and Rosy, and mine were too, but… Well I may admit to a distracted glance centered at a certain corner table. A spot almost hidden behind the mass of cheerful people. But I won't admit to who was sitting there. Because frankly I think you already know.

Grinning I reached to adjust my bow-tie as I nodded out a few thanks, now that the applause had shifted toward me. But I wasn't planning on warming the stage all night long, so I gestured for Nick, our appointed DJ, to start with the recorded music.

So stepping down, I made my way back into the crowd and started trying to find my way through the happy fray. To find my way to that awkward little corner table. It wasn't awkward itself, but that was how I would have described Skye's face. I grinned. Well of course besides beautiful, but that went without saying.

Sliding into the chair next to her I grinned a little wider, or maybe goofier would have been how she would have put it. "I do believe the dance floor is now officially open my lady." She shot me a sidelong glance, and her eyes almost looked pleading. "Uh...I'd rather not…"

I smiled as I leaned into my hand as I started over into her face, possibly making her more awkward, because she let go of a frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry...I know it must be pretty lame to have…" She hesitated. "Well a girlfriend…" I laughed a little at how she still choked on that phrase. "That doesn't know how to dance I mean…"

She really did look genuinely upset about disappointing me, and possibly close to self pity just for extra measure.

I frowned at her playfully. "Yeah I know… I even feel sorry for me." I shrugged. "But what can you possibly do? What is it Jane always says…? You can't help who you fall in love with?" Skye just looked down as she frowned. "Yeah I guess…"

Reaching over to take her hand that was resting on the tabletop, I smiled a little softer. "Which is a scary thought… Since I'd always choose to fall in love with you."

I watched as her face went a few shades redder before she let herself admit to the little smile that had just appeared on her face. "Wow…" She mumbled out. "You're even quoting Jane's books now? You have lost it…"

I laughed. "No, but I am glad to finally be able to say that sorta thing without worrying about getting punched." She turned to send me a playful glare. "I still might you know…"

I smirked right back at her. "I'll just have to take the risk."

Skye didn't get it did she? She didn't realize that she was both the most beautiful girl in the world, and the one always sitting alone in a corner. If I could have, I would have put her in the middle of that dance floor. And if I could have managed it somehow, I would have infused her with all the confidence, awe, and love I had for her. And then I know she would have just danced… But I also knew that wasn't going to happen. So I decided to put her where she most wanted to be anyway…

Standing I tugged on her hand to follow me. She looked suddenly worried. "I mean it Jeffrey, I really can't dance."

I nodded. "While I don't believe that at all, I wasn't going to drag you on the dance floor."

Her look of dread eased a little. "Ok...then where are we going?"

I grinned, but decided not to say anything, I just gently pulled her outside onto the open balcony to the left of us. You could still hear the sounds coming from inside, and there was even a few small groups of people out here too, but we were almost alone. But I actually didn't come to be alone, no I came so she could be in the only crowd had didn't make her uncomfortable.

Like a magnet pulling her brilliant blue eyes toward them, the stars above us caught her glance and then locked her stare. "Better?" I asked with a grin.

She nodded without coming back down to earth. "Always better..."

"Good…" I whispered softly as I let myself fall in right beside her. I couldn't say I understood each one of those lights the way she did, but it didn't take a masters in astronomy to understand why so many works of art had been created because of them. In fact I could hear the notes coming together almost effortlessly as I stood there looking up. But I'd have been lying, which I wasn't good at at all, if I said they were the only thing inspiring me.

It was summer again now… But what had I done before I had her to spend each one with…?

Jane was right to think of me as a prisoner locked up in the beautiful but lonely Arundel. Because that's just how I had felt for so long… Maybe Skye was really the knight who rescued me from a dungeon, instead of the other way around? I almost laughed.

But before I could I felt her staring at me, so I slowly turned my head to see if I was right. And unbelievable as it was, she really had chosen me over the stars. We just stared at each other silently for a second or two before she hesitantly spoke. "Thanks by the way…"

I smiled softly. "For what might I ask my lady?"

She looked straight ahead and then back at me. "Uh well...for admitting how you felt I guess… I mean I know I wouldn't have had the nerve to ever do that…"

I raised a curious eyebrow. "Well well Skye Penderwick, you sure are full of things you assume you can't do."

She frowned a little. "No really, I'm being serious."

I grinned a little. "So am I. Seeing as I beat you to the punch concerning confessions though, we'll never know if you were right about that."

She nodded. "Yeah I guess…"

"But," I began as I took a step back and opened my arms. "We could still find out if you really can dance or not." I watched as her nose wrinkled in either annoyance or fear. Or most likely a little of each. "I really was serious about that Jeffrey."

I smiled. "Ok fine, then I guess I'll just have to dance with myself." And so I did, hand and hand with open night air I twirled around the balcony, not even caring about the glances and out and out stares I got from the other people around.

Skye didn't seem quite so unfazed though. She frowned harder as she stole a glance over her shoulder at our perplexed and amused small audience. "Stop that! You're starting to look like you're really crazy!" She said in a sharp whisper.

But I could be just as stubborn, so I ignored her and just kept right on dancing with my invisible partner. Or at least until Skye fell into her place, and she sent a glare over her shoulder that told all the smirkers to mind their own business.

So we danced silently, and from the look on her face, I could tell she was as embarrassed as she was angry. But not able to take it anymore I cracked a crooked grin and could hardly hold back the laughter. "See, you can dance after all. You were wrong about that one."

She took in a deep breath, probably meant to stop herself from pushing me over the railing, before she spoke. "I'm just trying to keep them from locking you up."

I chuckled. "Maybe, but I think you might just enjoy yourself if you give yourself the chance."

She wrinkled her brow as if she found that hard to believe. Anyone else would have been worried about pushing her to the edge of annoyance, but I knew her too well to stop myself. "After all, we're dancing under about a billion stars during a warm summer night. Isn't that incredibly romantic and sentimental?"

I watched as her face flickered between a few different emotions before she finally settled on playfully annoyed. "Are you always gonna be like this? Because I could still change my mind about us you know."

I faked a worried look. "Forgive me my lady, your beauty giving me the tendency to babble."

She just sighed as she seemed to surrender to her new, permanently redder complexion.

"I guess I'll just take that as a yes…"

I laughed. Loud enough that is, to gain a few stares back from the other side of the balcony. And also loud enough to make her cringe. "Everybody's gonna stare again now…" She moaned quietly.

I smiled. "I don't mind."

"Yeah but I do!" She whispered back.

I did my best to look truly hurt. "Oh you don't want to be seen with someone who dances with himself huh?"

She rolled her eyes, seeing right through my playful attempt at making her guilty.

"Well when you put it that way…"

I smiled. "Fair enough, but you have to admit… You're at least having a little fun right?" And that time I really did mean it.

And just like before, she could tell it. Her face softened a little before she looked up to meet my eyes. "Yeah...fine I am…" I admit I couldn't stop the grin I felt coming to my face. It was goofy I'm sure, and probably very love sick, but I wasn't even the least bit embarrassed.

"I mean…" she added slowly. "I mean if you like dancing with…"

"With what?" I asked curious at whatever she was about to say.

She slowly gave me that lopsided, but heartfelt grin. The one I'd seen on special occasions where she had managed to let a little more of her true self out. One of those moments when she was just a little closer to earth…

"If you like dancing with your best friend that is…"

I smiled down at her. "So do you…?"

She frowned and bit her lip, before she looked back up at me. She met my green eyes with her blue and just stared for a few moments, before she slowly spoke. Somehow I figured I'd never forget this night, or what she was about to say...

"Yeah…" She began awkwardly. "As long as it happens to be you anyway…"

 **FIN**

 **Thanks so much for reading! Please let me know what you think as always. Anyway I expect to write some one shots or something in the future, if not another longer story. It's just to me, this seems more like a beginning than an end. :)**


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